


I Open at the Close

by Masha4Lyfe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Regret, anakin and obiwan are my children, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masha4Lyfe/pseuds/Masha4Lyfe
Summary: Dying on the Death Star, in his last moments, Anakin Skywalker relives the biggest regrets of his life. The manipulation that led to the Fall of The Chosen One, the destruction of the Jedi Order, and the Rise of the Sith. All of it pales in comparison though, to the gravest mistake of lost love.This is my Day 1 submission for Obikin Week 2017. The prompt was Mistake/Regret





	I Open at the Close

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Day 1 submission for Obikin Week 2017. The prompt was Mistake/Regret. I hope yall enjoy it, as I am actually very proud of this work

The weight of the world was crashing down on the two of them. The Empire in pieces, scattered, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. The Emperor had been defeated, and at the hands of Darth Vader, no less. Vader…no… _Anakin_ , had finally fulfilled his destiny as The Chosen One. Balance had been restored to the Force. It sang around the two figures trudging through the Death Star; however, this was not the time or place to celebrate. Anakin’s arm wrapped around his son’s shoulder, using all the energy he had left to stay upright. Luke clutched his father’s hand, his other arm supporting him around his waist. He labored to keep his father balanced, weakened by his battle with the Emperor. The man at his side, his father, no longer a Sith Lord, but a broken dying Jedi.

The wailing sirens cut through the hanger. The alarm cut through everything in its wake. The ground vibrated below with the evacuation of Empire personal, not a one stopping to aid the once daunting man limping away. The man that struck fear into their Order, killed them for a mere slip of a finger. The Stormtroopers fled their doomed battle station while the sounds of the space battle echoed around them. Rebel fleets attacking the defenseless stronghold. They had finally won. The Rebellion would not stop now, tasting their sweet victory. X-Wings and Y-Wings alike soared through the vacuum of space. Shots ricocheted off walls, damaged TI-Fighters, destroyed droids. The overhead lights burst, sparks descending over the frenzied escape.

Luke felt his father grow weaker and weaker. His pace slowed, and slowly his balance was taken from him. He leaned forward to accommodate the change, but the suit made it hard. The older man collapsed, breathing labored. His breathing apparatus destroyed by the Force lightning inflicted by Palpatine. Luke couldn’t just leave his father there to die. He’d just saved him. Darth Vader had left the dark, returning Anakin to the world. He would not leave him to die on this Force-forsaken sithspit. He changed positions now, coming to the head of his father and picked up his arms over his head to drag him towards the ship. They reached the landing platform before Luke collapsed over him. Reaching forwards, he grabbed Anakin’s suit by the shoulders and brought him up to face him.

Anakin was barely breathing now. The once fearful breathing replaced by a weak drawn out squeak. The man gazed at his son through the lenses of his failing mask.

“Luke…” he strained. “…help me take this mask off.”

His son knit his eyebrows together in confusion, his mouth tilted down in confusion.

“But you’ll die!”

“Nothing…can stop that now.”

“Please, Luke. For once, let me look at you…with my own…eyes.”

Luke conceded with an audible gulp, and sucked on his bottom lip. He reached out and gripped the helm of the mask. The mechanisms gave way, and the latches released. Chambers decompressed and sighed as the air between them withdrew. Finally, with some hesitance, he extended his arms to remove the face plate. Slowly, the wavering automatic breathing subsided, and son was face to face with father for the first time. Compassion and sympathy shot their way to Luke’s heart. Before him was not a Sith Lord, not a Jedi, but his vulnerable father. A pale, wounded shell of a hero and great man from long ago.

Anakin looked at his son, truly looked, for the first time. He had his mother’s eyes. He had her smile, he had her peace, but most of all, he had her compassion.

“Now…go…leave me.” He choked on his words.

Luke’s lips parted, eyes wide and brows raised.

“No. I can’t leave you here. I’ve got to save you!” Luke begged.

“You already…h-have, L-Luke.” The elder Skywalker struggled. He strived to gulp, getting in another breath.

“I have m-made…so many mistakes. Your mother…Padmé…she d-didn’t deserve her fate.”

“And Obi-Wan… _My dear_ Obi-Wan…Ben…he…” Tears began to form. Tears almost foreign to the man after all these years. Letting one droplet fall from his eye, he continued with his dying breath.

“Tell your sister, tell Leia, you were right.” Anakin breathed out, tension leaving his shoulders. He finally felt at peace, after all these years. The Returned Jedi fell back onto the landing platform and gazed up. He stared at the scattered orbs of light around him. Stars, perhaps? Like the clear black nights back on Tatooine, when he could look up and see all the stars and their systems. No, this wasn’t like that, he knew. Still, it was a nice thought to have in his final moments. Anakin Skywalker closed his eyes with a flutter, vaguely hearing cries of ‘Father’ from his son.

* * *

 

There was an old stone arch way that stood in the Temple on Coruscant. Right above the entry to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. There was an old Jedi adage engraved in the stone. Carefully preserved from the Old Jedi Order. Anakin had seen it more times than he could count, but it was now, in this strange state of limbo, that they truly found their meaning. **_Eam coepi per finis._** ‘It Starts with The End” the inscription had read. There had been whispers among the Jedi, that when one went to become one with the Force, their whole life played out before them in the moments of their death. Life becoming a full complete circle being the purpose of this belief. Anakin had scoffed at it in his youth, but now he wasn’t so sure. He could no longer feel his body, and he was no longer aware of Luke beside him. He was simply _there._ Solely _being._

Anakin went from peace to sorrow. Thrown before him was the all too familiar eeriness of Mustafar. The Naboo cruiser just beyond his vision, the lava belching to his right. The ash and dust hovering between himself and his wife. He cringed, knowing all too well what was about to happen. Padmé, pregnant and afraid, grasped at her throat. Her braid flailing behind her body. Face twisted in agony, she pleaded with her fallen husband. ‘Please, Anakin. You’re breaking my heart’. The Force of Anakin’s choke all but sealing her fate before his eyes. Reliving the moment in perfect clarity, Anakin felt shame, guilt, and overwhelming sadness. How had he let this happen? He’d only wanted to save her, save their children. He knew the answer. _Palpatine._ The Chancellor had exploited him, used his fear, anger, attachments against him. Anakin’s mind had been clouded and manipulated, his judgement frayed and volatile. His gaze returned to the scene replaying before him, and his spirit gasped. Obi-Wan emerged from the ship, exiting the vessel with caution. Anakin heard himself holler towards his former Master.

“You turned her against me!” He heard himself accuse.

“You’ve done that yourself.” Anakin wanted to cry. He hadn’t heard that voice in ages. The voice that used to comfort him as a distraught Padawan. The crisp accent that used to playfully chide him for making another landing too close. The voice belonging to the man that he’d lo..looked up to as a brother, the man that he’d struck down after saving his children from himself.

Anakin didn’t want to be here anymore. He knew what happened next. He was all too aware of the vile and hateful things he spewed towards the older man. Could still feel the pain, could still smell the singed burning flesh after he lost his limbs. He could still see the pain on Obi-Wan’s face as he looked down at his fallen pupil. ‘I loved you, Anakin. You betrayed me!’. Anakin couldn’t bear to see that again. Almost as if the Force had listened, he was taken away.

* * *

He took in his surroundings. He was in a room, the living quarters of an apartment by the looks of it. The space was minimally decorated, only essential furniture, not much personal flare. Anakin scanned the room until his eyes jolted back to an end table. The table sat next to the arms of the couch. There was a holocube projecting 2 men. The taller man with his arm around the shorter man’s shoulders. A playful smirk on both of their faces, and smiles wider than the moons of Iego plastered on their faces. Anakin knew exactly where he was, now. That holograph had been taken the day he was knighted. He had wanted to commemorate the occasion with Obi-Wan, the older man declining. Anakin had whined and pleaded with Obi-Wan to take just one holo. In the end, the older Jedi had broken down. The smiles had been genuine, and Anakin can’t even remember what had been said, but he stared nonetheless.

Suddenly the room shifted. No longer was there sun pouring in through the vast windows behind him. Instead, the moon had taken its place and was sending in haunting beams of glitter through the room. Suddenly on the couch was Obi-Wan and himself. They sat quite close, angled so that they were facing each other. Each had one leg tucked under the other, clutching at their knee. Anakin took in a deep breath and sucked his lips into his mouth, tears prickling behind his eyes. This was a day he’d tried his best to forget when he turned, but it followed him around like a nameless shadow for all of these years. This memory had taken place the day before he allowed the Emperor to strike down Master Windu. Anakin had come back from the Opera with the Chancellor feeling troubled, conflicted, and Obi-Wan had just returned from Utapau.

“Anakin, I’m telling you. We’ve been blind-sided. There must be something we’re missing.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Master.” He carded a hand through his hair, closing his eyes and sighing. Obi-Wan reached out and touched a hand to Anakin’s knee.

“What is it, dear one?” Anakin’s spirit shivered.

Obi-Wan’s hand moved to Anakin’s face, tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

“You know you can tell me anything.” He gave his former Padawan an encouraging smile.

This was a moment Vader had to forget. This moment made him weak. It was this conversation that might have changed the course of the future. It was in the moment that Anakin had almost come clean to Obi-Wan about everything. His fears, his intentions, his marriage with Padmé. Obi-Wan would have been upset, but he would have helped him-Anakin knew this, and yet, he said nothing.

“I just…I feel so helpless, Obi-Wan.” Anakin fixed his look to Obi-Wan’s hand on his knee.

“Everything is going out of control, and I just don’t know how we’re supposed to fix it. The Council doesn’t trust me to help, and-“

“Shh, dear one. Don’t say such things.” The older man wiped tears from Anakin’s eyes he didn’t even realize had started to fall.

“I know your feelings towards the Council, but please, Anakin. Consider how I feel about you.” The younger Jedi took in a small breath. His drooped eyes meeting Obi-Wan’s. The sheer emotion in them frightening.

“You are compassionate. You are smart, and you are charming. You have a heart big enough for everyone you meet. You’re fighting spirit and positivity make you a fearsome Jedi. Anakin,” Obi-Wan was cupping both his cheeks in his hands now. “you protect others with no concern for yourself. You protect me. You laugh at my unbelievably boring jokes.” Anakin cracked a small smile at that.

“I don’t know why the Council can’t see these things in you, but I can. I am proud of who you are Anakin. I am proud of you despite your awful stubbornness.” Both men were laughing then. “You make me proud every day, flaws and all. It’s who you are. And I… I love you.”

Anakin was silent then. Absorbing what had just been said to him. Such intimate words coming from someone he’d considered to be emotionless. He mulled the words over in his head, barely thinking before he reached out for his Master in front of him. Pulling him in for a most fragile kiss. Careful lips met each other, and eager tongues poked and prodded. The older Jedi leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Anakin’s neck. Anakin groaned into the kiss, a culmination of feelings he’d been pushing away for years.

It was in that moment Anakin realized his love for Obi-Wan was greater than it was or had been for anyone else. Greater than his love for Padmé, and even greater than his love for his mother. So it was when Anakin broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Obi-Wan’s, that he _almost_ told him he loved him too; however, he knew he still had to save Padmé. For the sake of their marriage, and for the sake of their baby. He knew what he had to do, and loving Obi-Wan would only get in the way. Blue-gray eyes stared into an even bluer ocean of eyes, and the Master smiled. Anakin got up from his seat on the couch, and walked towards the door, knowing his life would never be the same again.

Anakin’s spirit sobbed in the Force. He grieved for the loss of his love, the loss of his Master. The loss of _his_ Obi-Wan. He’d been so close to having what he’d always wanted. Love. His clouded thoughts had other plans, though. Anakin mourned the mistakes he’d made. Regretted the lives he’d taken; the people he’d hurt. He could not however, take them back. He may have fallen to the Dark Side, and he may have lost his love, but he did fulfill the prophesy he was meant to. Anakin Skywalker had brought balance to the Force, and in doing so, found his way back to the light. He felt a wave of peace fall over him, and he became aware of himself again.

* * *

 

The first thing Anakin heard was…music? He still couldn’t see, but he could hear the celebration going on around him. The happy chants, the laughing, the drums beating around him. The panpipes whistling a melodic tune. His sight returned to him and he was in the forest. It was dark, and he stood to the side near a hut. In the distance he saw the Ewoks, the creatures whooping and shouting around a bon fire. He smiled at the way they hopped with one another hand in hand. Anakin tilted his head to the side and smirked as he saw one approached a particularly annoyed Wookie. He followed the same alien as it made its way over to 3 human sentients. Anakin gawked at Luke, standing next to Leia. His children, finally together and happy. He finally felt at peace, at one with the Force. He stood there, content to watch his children celebrate their victory when he felt a presence appear behind him.

Anakin nearly burst into tears when he saw the Force ghost of his old Master standing before him. His auburn hair still groomed perfectly, his beard trimmed and sharp.

“Obi-Wan...” Anakin huffed, unstable and on the verge of tears.

“Hello, Anakin.” The man greeted, offering a soft smile.

“It..It’s really you?”

“Yes, dear one.” He chuckled.

Anakin bounded over until he was in front of Obi-Wan. He wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in the older man’s neck. The man didn’t react at first, somewhat caught off guard, but he eventually hooked his arms around Anakin’s back and rubbed smooth circles into his tunic.

“Oh, Obi-Wan, I missed you so much.” Anakin’s whisper fragile, scared he might be taken away if he spoke any louder.

“Am I really here? With you?”

“Yes, Anakin. You’re one with the Force. You fulfilled your prophecy. The Force is balanced.” He could hear the smile in his voice.

Anakin lifted himself up and stared into Obi-Wan’s eyes, searching them.

“I’m so sorry, Obi-Wan, for everything. I never meant to hurt you.” The sobbing began, and Obi-Wan drew him in for another hug.

“Oh, dear one.” He soothed.

“I’ve had many years to think about what happened. While not ideal, it was the Force’s will that this path be taken. You were able to defeat the Emperor and bring balance to the Force, all because of Luke.”

“B-but I lost you. I killed you, Obi-Wan. I’ll never be able to forgive myself”

“Do not dwell on the past, Anakin. What’s done is done. Just know that I forgive you.”

Anakin looked up again, then. He took Obi-Wan’s hands in his.

“Obi-Wan, out of all the mistakes I made and regrets I have, there’s one that haunts me the most.” He stroked light circles on the back of Obi-Wan’s palms with his thumbs.

“What would that be, dear one?” He murmured.

“I never told you how much I…how much I love you. From the moment we shared that kiss in our apartment I realized that it’s always been you. I was too blind to and deceived to stop my fall, but Obi-Wan I’ve loved you forever, and it just makes everything I did feel so much worse. I don’t know if you can eve-” He was interrupted by Obi-Wan’s lips on his. The feeling foreign after all of these years always alone and always wanting. He ran his fingers through the auburn locks and deepened the kiss. It was filled with passion, filled with longing. It said all the things they’d never been able to say to one another. Anakin felt he was truly forgiven, just as strongly as Obi-Wan could tell how much Anakin did indeed love him. Almost as if he still doubted his best friend, Anakin broke the kiss, looking Obi-Wan longingly in the eyes.

“I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Anakin searched the eyes that bore right back into his. I could get lost in those eyes forever, he thought to himself. He didn’t have to wait long for a response.

“I know.”

So simple, yet it said it all. Through thick and thin, Master and Apprentice, Friends and Lovers, they had finally made it. Anakin and Obi-Wan finally had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think! I crave comments, so don't be shy! If you like this work you can follow me on tumblr to request any prompts or just to pop over and ask me some questions! http://hardleynormal.tumblr.com


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